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Yellow head
Things continue grim. I'm in the middle of a four night stint at work: eleven hour shifts. It's really not a difficult job, but I dread going there. How far have I fallen in the past couple of years? I get no pleasure out of anything anymore, except sleep. Thinking has become my enemy. Thoughts of death abound. Anytime I see a person killed in a film or a TV programme, I feel a sensation not unlike envy towards them. They are out of it and can feel no more. Which is a shocking state of mind to be in. There is a darkness all around me, which I can feel and taste. It is a continual torment. Walking down the street, I get vague notions of throwing myself in front oncoming traffic. When is this state of mind going to end?

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Have you been to see a GP yet?
I've been thinking about you, and I hope you will emerge from this low feeling soon. Hang in there...

Yes,please keep writing. It helps. You really should see the GP, too, if you haven't already.

i wonder what's on at the cinema this weekend?

i could take the kids over on Sunday & we can meet up (although i'd have to go to the cinema - Eve 7 Jude are too young to go on their own or with just Jack).

Dunno if Caroline's about this weekend either

Hey D, I am really sad that you're feeling so depressed..I was looking at yr artwork of Hiro and Me and I was thinking really forcefully how much I wanted to send you good vibes and love and support. I hope you felt them

Dont kill yourself. There are plenty more pictures to be drawn and you havent left enough yet..!!

Like others say, GP. It really will help and things really will get better.

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