Log in

No account? Create an account
Previous Entry Share Next Entry
Situation Still Not Good
Yellow head
My brother has returned from hospital and so things are a little tense around the house (still an improvement on how they were before). My mother's presence does alleviate the situation, but she can't stay here forever.

My mood is unremittingly flat. I could I'd sleep 24 hours a day. It's the only relief I have from the bleakness of life. I'm haunted by thoughts of death and suicide. I've no energy and nothing to look forward to. I've a job application form to fill in and I've made efforts to get myself a doctor here in Newark, but the truth is, I don't see the point in doing anything. I've done no artwork since returning from London. Silence and staring into space are my hobbies.

  • 1
I feel so sad to read this...I really hope your mood can shift. I know it must be a crappy situation but life can and will get better, you just need to give yourself some time. I hope your creativity comes back soon, I miss your drawings and paintings on Flickr!

God, do I know that feeling, for what it's worth (ie: nuffink-) Hang in there anyway. You know it will get better eventually.

I think I know that feeling, D. I also know I can't do much to help someone in such a funk. Just go for walks and suffer your own company for a while and it'll pass. It always does.

When I was going through a hard time, a friend said something that really helped - 'The darkest hour of the night is just before dawn.' It was hard to see how that dawn would come at the time, but eventually it did - hang on in there, and look after yourself.

Try and get some excercise. Walks in the spring sunshine, and make sure you take your camera with you.

It will get better.

I did go out for a walk in the sun today and feel much better for it. I had to buy a new camera, as I'd stupidly broken the other one. Never mind the cost though. I don't feel complete without a camera. I'm hoping I'm come back to life soon.

I've not been on LJ in ages, and completely missed all this terrible time you're going through. I didn't even realize you'd moved! I'm so sorry - it does sound awful. Glad to see you got a new camera, though. My prescription - walking and taking pictures. Nothing helps me through bleakness nearly as well.

  • 1