darryl cunningham (tallguywrites) wrote,
darryl cunningham

Start of the Final Year

I've really enjoyed my time off from college and placements, but now that time is over, and it's back to the student nurse grind. I'm officially a third year as of today. Reality bites. In six months I'm going to have to start applying for staff nurse jobs. A year from now, I'll be qualified.

Which is all well and good, if it's what I want, but is it? I was sitting in class today, half-listening to the lecturer, and looking around at the other students, and I realised I had nothing at all in common with these other people. The huge creative burst I've been through recently, which has meant so much to me, would mean nothing to them. Yet it's central to who I am and the way I live my life. They don't know me. I feel like I'm having to hide a huge part of my personality in order to fit in, and without doubt, this is psychologically detrimental to me.

The above statement may sound pretentious, but all it means, is that I'm exceptionally good at something, yet in my ordinary life I'm neither able to make a living from this talent or be recognised for it. There's no one in the class I feel I can talk to about this. I feel so frustrated, I could explode. Bah!

On Monday I start my placement with the Community Drug and Alcohol Team, which I'm looking forward to, because I have friends working there and I think it's an interesting area to work.
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