October 20th, 2007

Yellow head

C'mon, Get Happy

Thinking is harmful, or at least it's harmful to me (at the moment). I'm full of bleak thoughts. I'm due back at work on Sunday night, and I dread the idea. I associate the residential home for the elderly I'm working in, with darkness, piss, excrement and death. Not exactly positive elements for someone in a depressed state of mind. The nights have drawn in, so that it's dark when I set off for work and only just light when I leave it. I, of course, have to sleep though much of the daylight hours, which means that I hardly see the sun.

Also a problem is that I have nothing in common with the other people who work there. They're mostly young Asian girls, who are so different from me, that to them I might as well be from another planet. There's no common ground at all. Some are friendly, but a few simply ignore me, as if I didn't exist. The other morning, as I was leaving, I said good-bye to the oncoming dayshift, only to get a stoney silence in response. I got no eye-contact from these girls, instead they stared into space, like the dead-eyed fish you see lying on the ice on a supermarket counter.

Here's the link to my art blog: http://darryl-cunningham.blogspot.com/