March 17th, 2007

Yellow head

Tall Guy Goes AWOL

Well, the whole living in Newark-on-Trent with my brother thing, has proved a disaster. I've had a hateful time recently. I've not written any entries lately for two reason: my mood has been extremely low and I've been travelling. After a particularly grim argument, I just walked out of the house and didn't return for two weeks. My state of mind was so poor that I couldn't even tell you what I was thinking of when I walked out. I took noting with me, just the clothes I was standing up in. I left my iPod, my camera, my address book. I didn't take a change of clothes or a toothbrush. Nothing. I simply went AWOL, and no one knew where I was for well over a week. I had my mobile in my jacket pocket, but without the charger, it was useless. Dark thoughts of suicide haunted me.

I ended up in London, moving from hotel to hotel, and not caring about the vast amount of money I was spending. I was cut off from everybody. People were trying to contact me, but I remained obstinately out of reach. My mother came down to Newark at my brother's request. She thought about contacting the police. She didn't, but she did go though my address book, so she could ring one of my friends.

Eventually, I bought a new phone (Virgin on Oxford Road), and swopped the sim card over from my defunct phone. I later rang Maria, one of my Chester friends, and she told me that my mother had rung her, to ask if I'd heard anything from me. This info seemed to snap me back into life.

Well one thing led to another, and I'm now back in Newark. The situation is complex, but I feel okay now. I've made efforts to claim jobseekers allowance and I've got a job interview lined up for Monday. Things have been fraught and my nerves are shredded, but I think I can see a way forward now. Once I have a job, I'll be able to move somewhere else. In the mean time I'm just going to have to endure the situation.

I'll write more about the events that led up to this situation and what I did on my travels, next entry.