Log in

No account? Create an account
Previous Entry Share Next Entry
diversion sign
An eleven page chapter from my upcoming book Psychiatric Tales, which will be out from Blank Slate in early 2010. Feel free to point out any errors or make any other comments.

1 schizophrenia

2 schizophrenia

3 schizophrenia 3

4 schizophenia

5 schizophrenia

6 schizophrenia

7 schizophrenia

8 schizophrenia

9 schizophrenia

schizophrenia 10

11 schizophrenia

  • 1

Re: As ANOTHER family member of someone with schizophrenia...

I feel so bad for all the suffering you have gone through. As you show, schizophrenia is a devastating illness for all. It destroys the peace that its victims once had and makes it impossible to have a "normal" life with anyone else. Your mother has the worst case that a person could possibly have. You don't say whether or not if medication was ever able to provide any peace for her or if she just refused any treatment. In my wife's case treatment provides only minimal relief. Many of these severe cases victimize everyone, as this has for you and your family. There isn't anything more you can do. And it's neither your fault nor your mothers fault. She is the most victimized of all as this illness has destroyed herself and any hope of a "normal" life with anyone. You have to do what you have to do and don't beat yourself up about it. There ISN'T anything you can do about it. Just go on and live your life the best you can.

Re: As ANOTHER family member of someone with schizophrenia...

She accepted treatment for some 3 years, which I remember as being a time of real happiness in my family. Then she decided she was feeling too good to need it any more and stopped taking her meds, at which time she started to lose it again of course. She then refused all treatment for almost 20 years, until the murder, at which time she was placed in a hospital and given treatment whether she liked it or not.

I've spoken to several psychiatrists and psychologists, and what they explain to me is that schizophrenia slowly builds neural patterns in the brain due to ongoing use of the nonsensical thought patterns, and that over time these wrong thought patterns will get more ingrained, which is to say, worse. That's why someone refusing treatment gets more nonsensical over time. The problem is, after a long time of no treatment, these thought patterns are strongly ingrained, so even though she has been medicated for over 15 years now, all medication can do for her is stop the voices in her head: it can't eliminate all the nonsense she has already built up in her mind. It does offer her an opportunity for her to examine her thoughts and realize they're nonsense and try to overcome them, but from what I can tell she has no desire to do so.

Understand, I have not seen or spoken to her for some 15 years. It's too dangerous for me to do so. I am afraid to even contact her state caregivers for fear that they will accidentally reveal to her my contact information, or try to zap me with a bill for her care. So, I have to deal with them through third parties.

From what I have heard, it is clear to me that she continues to plot to escape (while fortunately being too inept to actually do so), to obsess about guns, and has convinced herself that as soon as she can become free of the evil government people holding her captive for no reason she will track me down and I will care for her in my home for the rest of her life, despite that I am somehow also less than 5 years old in her mind and need her to look out for me so I don't get run over by a car, presumably hers. (That's how she tried to do me in several times.) Recently she has begun saying that she understands that I don't want her in my life and she will respect that and leave me alone, but she has said that before and subsequently obsessed about finding me again, so I'm not buying it; I think she has figured out that it's one of the things her caregivers want to hear as a prerequisite to being released, so she's saying what she thinks they want to hear. She's pretty good at that, at least while she is having a period of lucidity.

She has never expressed any understanding of the fact that she utterly destroyed my childhood and has had an enormous lasting negative impact on my life from which I may never be able to recover.

  • 1