darryl cunningham ([info]tallguywrites) wrote,
2009-08-02 11:58:00
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Self-Harming

I've touched on self-harming in earlier chapters of this little book I'm writing, but I felt I hadn't covered the subject in enough detail, so here is more. The amount of reference on this subject around the internet is so vast that you never seem to be able to get to the bottom of it. It's a hugely complex area and I'm well aware that I've not really covered it in anything but sketchy detail. I could easily fill a book on this subject alone. However, these are just a few of my personal thoughts and insights I've had over the years working with this client group, and as such, I think they're helpful and valid.

1 hammer



2 hammer

3 hammer

4 hammer

5 hammer

6 hammer page

7 hammer end

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  • 15 comments

[info]ladyperegrine

August 2 2009, 12:37:16 UTC 2 years ago

I love that those words at the end come not from your character but from the woman who cuts. It creates a sense of hopefulness, accentuates the possibility that she will move past it.

[info]jabberworks

August 2 2009, 12:47:08 UTC 2 years ago

Fascinating, really well done.

I think there's something really core to our being about cutting. I once had to do an experiment with blood for an experiment in a biology class, and it involved sticking myself with a little lancet to get a drop. No big deal, I thought, I get cuts and scrapes all the time. But I couldn't actually do it, I couldn't stick myself, no matter how slow or quicky I brought down the lancet. Finally the teacher had to do it for me and I was kind of embarrassed. But I was very intrigued by the mental block I had about intentionally breaking the skin's surface, and it makes me appreciate what cutting might have so much significance and impact on people.

[info]joanofarchetype

August 2 2009, 16:00:01 UTC 2 years ago

Last summer I suffered a brief infestation of fleas in my apartment. I bought effective pesticides and got rid of them quickly, but not before they had bitten me all over my lower legs with a few bites on arms & hands. My legs looked so bad that I wore long skirts to work while I waited for the bite marks to heal, but the ones on my arms & hands were still visible. Having diabetes, the wounds healed very slowly and I still have some marks despite using tons of skin cream. I mentioned "these pesky flea bite scars" to a co-worker, and she shrieked, "Oh, so THAT'S what they are? Oh I'm so relieved, I thought you were self-harming!" I was mortified that anyone would think I would do that, and wondered who else at work harboured that idea.

[info]childecleon

August 2 2009, 20:02:37 UTC 2 years ago

I SI...this is about as close as I think someone who doesn't SI can describe it. Well done.

[info]poisonrational

August 4 2009, 17:40:24 UTC 2 years ago

Thank you for explaining this accurately! So many people don't understand, it's a frustrating topic to breach.

[info]nervousystem

August 5 2009, 02:06:06 UTC 2 years ago

Exactly.

[info]the_efaf

August 6 2009, 05:01:57 UTC 2 years ago

This comic really captures the essence of the general motivations for self-harming very accurately, from my experience. It really is a way to block out the feelings that are crushing you. It is also true that it can feel somewhat like an addiction -- years after "coming clean" I still want to do it at times, and it becomes very frustrating at times.

[info]tallguywrites

August 6 2009, 05:09:47 UTC 2 years ago

I hoped that i had got this correct. It's such a hard thing to understand. Even many people who cut are hard pressed to tell you why they do it. I was fully expecting to get some quite angry comments for daring to make assumptions, but it's not happened.

[info]akrose

September 24 2009, 16:42:26 UTC 2 years ago

I have to admit, this is the one thing I probably understand the least. I try to understand it, but I can't always seem to. I hate to say that I can be judgemental about it. It's something I am not proud of, and is something I am trying to change about myself. This comic helps me down that path...

[info]maxslain

September 24 2009, 17:45:20 UTC 2 years ago

One issue

This is well-written, but one thing struck a false note with me, as a former self-harmer - the notion that people 'are happy to display their scars'. Perhaps, like me, they got tired of feeling ashamed about their self-harm, and of feeling as if they had some obligation to hide it from others. I still have scars, but I don't particularly hide them any more - I forget they're there most of the time. For me, and many others, it's not about 'displaying' scars, so much as *not hiding* them. If I were you I'd be wary of ascribing motivations to anyone not actively hiding self-harm scars.
Otherwise, as I say, I think your book is an excellent project and what I've seen has been really carefully done.

[info]tallguywrites

September 25 2009, 02:50:52 UTC 2 years ago

Re: One issue

Hi. This was a small grouping of patients I used to see on the acute wards who were of a particular mindset. I didn't mean to imply that all people who have self-harmed and show their scars are like this. I know this isn't true.

[info]en_particulier

September 25 2009, 02:26:33 UTC 2 years ago

Found out about your work via Boing Boing. This is going to be a great book! One thing I noticed- in the panel with the young woman (page 5) she is saying "They'd think I was doing to manipulate them" vs. "They'd think I was doing it to manipulate them"- thought I'd point that out if you hadn't already noticed. Keep up the great work!

[info]kitsuchan

September 25 2009, 22:20:31 UTC 2 years ago

I used to cut myself, when I was younger. This is one of the better introductions I've seen on the topic. I really like that it ends on a note of, "this isn't permanent, this isn't something that defines me."

[info]tanwyn

September 27 2009, 21:57:47 UTC 2 years ago

Very very well done. This is quite possibly the best presentation for this that I've seen.

[info]eat_sleep_fuck

October 18 2009, 07:32:07 UTC 2 years ago

I know this is months after the posting, but I've been going through the comics ever since I found your Bi-Polar and Schizophrenia ones. Just wanted to speak up again as someone who has arms and other body parts covered in scars I no longer really see. You got it right, you got it all right. I've met some people who were proud to show off their scars when they had the problem, and I hated them at the time. I have much more compassion now.

It was an addiction, it disassociated me from my feelings, and more than six/seven years later I still can't come across imagery from it without getting goosebumps and looking away. I love all of what you've posted in this series that I've found so far, I will be keeping an eye out for the book in February.
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